I was standing in the yogurt aisle this morning trying to decide which delightfully delicious flavor I would have for breakfast. Note to the fine yogurt makers out there: TOO many choices.
Whatever happened to plain? Was I in the mood for pumpkin caramel spice? Ginger lemon zing? Codfish pineapple twist?
As my head was just about to spin around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, two very well dressed older women approached the gigantic wall of yogurt. One of the women reached over, hand firmly grasping a yogurt cup said to the other….
Okay, are you ready? Because this is repulsive….
She said “I just love this brand of yogurt. I saw it on Oprah and she recommended it for better digestion. And you know what? It works! My bowel movements have been soft and coiled just like she said they should.”
I am sickened instantaneously. Thanks Oprah.
Is nothing sacred anymore? I just wanted a yogurt not a lesson on bowel movements at Whole Foods at 8am.
Oprah has all together ruined my delightful breakfast, my love of dairy, and my life. I will never be able to look at a cup of yogurt the same way again.
5 Comments
I blame Jamie Lee Curtis.
Oh yes. I forgot about her…
Have you seen the skit on Saturday Night Live in which she's sitting on the sofa eating yogurt after yogurt and then poops her pants?
It's quite funny.
If you're into poop humor like me.
I haven't, but I suck at remembering SNL still exists.
Well you can blame Oprah, but I'm blaming you.
Codfish pineapple twist is the best!
I know, Unknown Mami. I'm sorry for bringing up…