WELCOME TO MY MOMMY BLOG. I HOPE YOUR BUNNY RABBIT DREAMS AND STRAWBERRY COTTON CANDY WISHES COME TRUE. HAVE A SUPER DUPER DAY!
Oh, and please don’t forget to enter my free giveaway. Here’s your chance to win a pair of slightly used latex gloves that I retrieved from the garbage can at the free clinic!
Why thank you. Oh, and by the way, shove it. And STOP SHOUTING AT ME.
I’m a bit grumpy as of late because I’m tired of getting emails and coming across bloggers aggressively promoting their sites, some of which are emblazoned with talking flowers, photos of dogs wrapped in pink blankets, baby feet, rainbows, and flying unicorns. And awful giveaways.
Mom blogger, you’re 39. Perhaps it’s time to move on and focus on more important matters at hand. Like how overspending on credit cards is a boon for banks or that George Clooney is still totally hot for an old guy.
Maybe spice up your blog up a bit. Add some images of skulls, a unicorn getting a blow job, or the empty vodka bottles that litter your yard.
I am a mother. And I blog. Am I mom blogger? Yes. And I have blogs that I follow written by moms who are smart and funny (I think you know who you are) But please, pretty please, crazy moms, stop pestering me.
Yours truly,
Grumpy Pants
So, anyone out there know of some good blogs I should be reading?
22 Comments
ahahahahahaha that's freaking great!
Yes, my blog
I'm not a mom and I don't host giveaways. I might occasionally talk about porn and pretend I'm actually talking about Larry King Live, but a giveaway you will not find.
I too loathe the giveaways being SHOVED down my throat. If I wanted something shoved down my…on second thought, forget I said that. Seriously though, I'm with you…enough already! I did the whole I'll-follow-you-on-Twitter-cause-you-followed-me-on-Twitter thing to a few people and happily clicked UNFOLLOW because that's all I got. Blasted in the face with giveaways. Sheesh, is this comment long enough?
Anyway, thank you Brilliant Sulk for taking a stand against the giveaway nonsense. That's what makes you brilliant.
BTW, my word verification was dillo…I think they forgot the "d."
Thanks Laura. Glad you laughed.
Oh court*knee. I'm blushing. Porn?
Thanks for reading. You may be the only one soon.
And what is up with these word verifications on my blog lately? Too weird.
Did I say porn? Silly me…what was I thinking? I meant mud wrestling.
I think the word verifications mimic content. Sometimes the word fits perfectly with the post. It could be totally random though too.
Here's some cool skulls AND a unicorn:
http://acidolatte.blogspot.com/2009/09/damien-steven-hirst.html
I am SO glad I read this. I was just busy embellishing my site with unicorns in pink blankets, dogs with baby feet, and a talking rainbow, plus a big sign saying 'Follow me, not Amanda, and I'll send you a present' and then I read your post. Phew! Near miss!
Ha ha ha! THis was a very funny post… and I have to agree! I can't stand blogs that are noting but giveaways and product reviews and are so crowded with advertsing you can't figure out what the name of it is.
I'm a "mum Blogger" but I don't think you'll find anything like that on my blog… I hope. BTW Fran Hill's comment was FUNNY! x
I am currently giving away all of my husband's old underwear. Think you could promote that on your site?
Damien Hirst's artwork would be a fabulous addition to any "mom blogger" website!
I've been intrigued by his work for some time. But the fact that the shark for one of his other pieces was caught by a commissioned fisherman bothers me. Do you know if all of the other animals were dealt the same fate?
I do like those skulls though.
Thank you Fran.
I really didn't think dogs with baby feet were quite your style. Now, the vodka bottles. That's another story.
Thanks Simoney. Glad another "mum blogger" agrees with me!
Although if I were you I would stay away from that Fran Hill and her blog. She likes to eat olives on busses with strangers. And drink vodka. Lots of vodka.
Oh my gosh Mountain Momma, I LOVE that idea. I'll even throw in my husband's toe nail clippings!
The sad thing is, I bet we'd get people to enter the giveaway….
I cal relate. I wrote a post a few weeks ago to about the ridiculous amount of giveaway blogs. It's like they are on crack and twitter all f*cking day about win this, win that…
The day that I need x (insert prduct here… preparation H, diaper cream, dildos), I will go out and buy one, even if i have to stop eating for a few days cuz i spent my money on that instead of food.
p.s. so how can i win those slightly used latex gloves you are giving away?
I'm so sorry Sophia's Mom. I have decided to keep the latex gloves all to myself. They are just too damn good to give away!
I wouldn't think Twitter and crack mix well…
I don't know the circumstances of how he acquired those animal corpses, but I'm going to look into it. Something tells me that with his kind of money nobody stood around and waited for a happy horse to die from natural causes before Hirst got a hold of it. It should bother me more than it does, Amanda, and I need to find out why.
Interesting Mark.
When I originally saw his pieces I was REALLY bothered. Since I've taken another look years later I'm not as affected. Perhaps I need to find out "why" as well…
I found a bio of Hirst last night that says except for the sharks he got his animals from slaughterhouses. I'm going to write a post about him and address the animal issue. (Speaking of which, next time "The Dude" parks in your driveway have Mango crap on his hood, then call the tow truck.)
Makes me feel a tiny bit better Mark, will look forward to your post.
Mango has been holding in his poop for three whole days. Just waiting…
Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you for this post. I consider myself a fairly positive person- in the face of REALITY! These fairyland mommy bloggers make me a little ill to my stomach. (No, that's not a comment on San Francisco.) And knowing they're out there is why I avoid mommy groups at the park or any pack of women child bearing age.
Do you think they're for real? Are their realities just that different? If so, how did they get that way and how do they stay that way?
Ha Ha, good one about S.F.
Too bad we don't live closer. I would totally hang out with you…
I'm a mom, but I really wouldn't call myself a mom blogger because I rarely post about my kids.
Honestly, I started my blog to have a creative outlet that had nothing to do with my kids. I do review/giveaways, but not that often and I definitely don't want it to be the main focus of my blog.
Ironically enough, I stumbled across your blog b/c of a post you left at Mom Blogger's Club. Just wanted to say hi and tell you that this post totally cracked me up.
Thanks Jen, guess it's the IN YOUR FACE crazy hyper Moms that rub me the wrong way.
Glad you stopped by!