I have been in a self induced champagne coma for the past week and a half because…well, just because. So now that Christmas has come and gone faster than my dog Mango can sneak into the living room and poop on the floor, I am BACK. Back to writing. Back to trolling eBay for a slightly used pair of sparkly Steven Seagal brand thong panties. I bet you didn’t know he made undies, did you? He hand embroiders the sparkles himself. In between bites of corn dogs and fried Mars bars.
I am back to my normal routine. Thank goodness.
These last couple of weeks have been hectic. Family trip to Lake Tahoe. Returning horrible gifts to even more horrible shops. Transporting unconscious and unfamiliar family members back to the airport. Endless galas to host and attend.
Speaking of galas….
I thought I would share a couple of photos of our marvelous Christmas Eve party. An intimate gathering of our most highly sophisticated friends and a few strangers we dragged in off the street because we don’t really have many friends.
I’m the one standing next to the refrigerator. Yes, I have dreadlocks. And I pin giant fake flowers to my bosom. And I wear black, clunky orthopedic shoes. I believe I was fetching another bottle of bubbly and the peanut butter and jelly smoked duck terrine I had whipped up. It made quite an impression! We played nude Twister, watched ultimate fighting and danced the night away to New Kids on the Block songs. What an amazing evening.
I now present the aftermath.
My husband is the one splayed out in the chair. I think the duck-champagne combo was just too much for us to handle. I’m the one on the floor, next to the table, and the woman lying on her face still remains to be identified (please contact the San Francisco medical examiner’s office if she looks familiar). It’s a good thing I wore pants and didn’t choose to put on my tinsel and candy cane encrusted Bob Mackie gown, because it would have probably been up, up, up, waaay over my head.
I hope you all had an utterly fantastic and magical holiday. FYI…if any of you can possibly metamorphose into a profoundly sophisticated being who can handle a game of nude Twister, there is a good possibility I just may invite you to my next super cool party.
31 Comments
Wow! Looks like quite the wild party! Happy Holidays!
.-= Alecia´s last blog ..Doctored Photos =-.
Ah yes, our parties are the BEST.
(Please don’t tell anyone I made it all up!)
Are those four calling birds under the tree, or just melting birds when you set their heads alight?
Have a joyful New Years and a 2010 full of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!
.-= Mark Kerstetter´s last blog ..At the End of the Year =-.
Exactly why I bought them! I have always wondered what tiny little melting bird heads would look like. I’ll send you a photo as they’re all ablaze.
The cat is TOO happy, and the husband appears to be waiting for instructions from it. Hilarious, A.
.-= John´s last blog ..What’s better? =-.
The cat seems quite large and menacing doesn’t he? Perhaps I’ve been giving him the wrong dosage of steroids. He’ll be competing in the “World’s Biggest and Dumbest Cat Pageant” in Brazil next month. Will let you know how it goes.
It can’t have been THAT crazy a party if the lampshade is still on the lamp. If it weren’t for the bad ass dreads, I’d have to knock off your cool points.
.-= BugginWord´s last blog ..A Plea for Brandy =-.
Why thank you. My dreads are totally bad-ass.
By any chance you wouldn’t know how to remove lube and feta cheese from stinky matted dreads?
Just wondering (email me if you find out)
I love you! You make me laugh. You and your ugly orthopedic shoes.
.-= laura´s last blog ..Super Secret Winners! =-.
Now Laura, you aren’t making fun of my clunky shoes are you? Because that would hurt my feelings. I have seven toes on one foot and the other one, well, we’ve lost count…
yep, exactly how I had you pictured.
.-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..What can 2010 do for YOU? =-.
Oh fantastic.
I’d like to know who ran away with the window treatments. Was it Santa? That bastard.
.-= Lagunatic´s last blog ..Sea Breeze, please……make it a double. =-.
I’d have you know the stark look is IN now. No window treatments. Just me and the old man, walking around nude for all of San Francisco to envy and enjoy.
Awe you lucky girl…my world is the plastic little tykes version. :0
Thanks for making me giggle….been in a lame coma for days:) missed your humor Sunny One.
xxoo
Laurel
Thank goodness you’re out of your lame coma (comas are soooo 1987)
Happy New Year!
Nude, sophisticated twister. Not sure the two go hand in hand but let’s give it a go. Game on.
Excellent. You’ll be on the list for our next gala!
Haha….I love your layout and the opening to your site. Way cool! Much different:) Nice. I love different!
.-= Vick´s last blog ..I’m a Bitch What Else is New =-.
Thanks – glad you stopped by. Yes, I’ve been “different” but not always in a good way…
Looks like you had an awesome party!
Why are there no pictures of the naked Twister???
Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
.-= Sophia’s Mom´s last blog ..Hot Nanny Saga Ends: Because The Moral Of This Story Is That She Is Going To Burn In Hell & You Should Always Follow Your Gut! =-.
Happy New Year to you too! You would not want to see the naked Twister. Or the aftermath…
Naked Twister isn’t half as much fun as you imagine.
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..Kazakh Gangstas =-.
Oh, so you have some experience with this? I don’t want to know…
Dude. YOU ARE SEXY. Make out with me.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..The Evolution of Aunt Becky =-.
I know, right? I’m TOTALLY HOT. When we make out is it okay if I leave my orthopedic shoes on?
My feet stink.
GAh, I can’t read the rest its not here, nor can I see the pictures. Gah. Happy New year though!
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Simple Joy Sunday # 7: Serenity =-.
Naked Twister? I’m so there. I’d probably have to convince Tim that all the guys taped up their “swords” so there is no chance of them “crossing”
Thank you Jessica. I now have that image etched into my brain. I’m not too sure if that’s a bad thing or a really, really good thing…
Apparently it was just me and my dumbass computer. That party looks just like the one I am going to have tonight…just as soon as I am done with my nap!
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Simple Joy Sunday # 7: Serenity =-.
Good, I would have been disappointed if you missed out on the action. Happy New Year!