It’s New Year’s Eve. Yay! Yippee! Hooray!
Okay, I’m being totally sarcastic. I never much cared for New Year’s Eve. Even as a teenager when I would hang out at my friend’s house and drink free champagne with her crazy parents. Dick Clark bored me. Watching all those freezing cold people crammed into Times Square made me uncomfortable and gave me the creeps. Bodily fluids. That’s all I’ll say.
For me, 2009 was a chaotic mess of a year. A gigantic cluster-fuck of sorts. Kids, house, career, blog, and the dreaded chicken pox. Oh yes, I also got glasses. Thankfully nobody dropped dead. Yes, 2009, I’m glad to bid you adieu. Adios. Ciao. Au revoir.
So please dear readers, help a poor pathetic loser out and choose a resolution for me. Yes, I’m too lazy to pick my own. I realize I was supposed to have my resolution all thought out and ready to go for January 1st. But again, I’m lazy. Here are the choices (or go ahead and suggest something, anything)
- Start smoking
- Learn how to speak Taiwanese so my dog will listen to me when I tell him to do my taxes. And the dishes
- Stop blogging. For ever and ever
- Run the toenail clipping booth at the Marin Country Fair
- Put on 50 pounds
- Become an ice road trucker
So I figure I have until 11:59 pm PST December 31, 2010 to pick one. Which one should I choose?
Okay, on a more serious note…
A big giant wet THANK YOU to those of you who have been visiting and commenting on my blog for the past year. Without you, I’d be a lonely shell of a person who spends her days attempting to concoct a potion to become invisible and reenacting scenes from the movie Harold and Maude with my cats. Happy New Year!
35 Comments
I’d go with the ice road trucker deal – that looks totally AWESOME.
You must be a dude. If you can hook me up with some ice and a truck I’m there…
hey hey hey I know people who build ice roads and work off them all winter…they are a tough crowd
I’m thinking blue dog democratic senator from Alaska, oh you’d need residency for that gig though hmmmmmmmm let me think on it
.-= laura´s last blog ..Buche de Noel =-.
Oh I know Laura – I would NOT mess with the ice road people. They would kick my ass.
If you can provide me with sleeping quarters I would be proud to represent the great state of Alaska. Although I hope Alaska would be ready for pantsless Wednesdays and a ban on heterosexual marriage. Hee hee.
If you have a dog that speaks Taiwanese, I would just exhibit the dog, make loadsacash, and retire to blog for ever and ever, Amen. Happy New Year, Amanda.
Well Fran, I suppose I should have been a bit more honest. Mango doesn’t actually speak, he prefers sign language. Do you know how long it’s going to take me to learn Taiwanese dog sign language???
Happy New Year!
Totally room in our chicken coop or the 6 car garage (unheated, bring a blanket!) for you, so anytime you wanna go let’s do this. Pantsless Wednesday is probably good, I mean you are moving to the Meth capital of Alaska, (OK that’s Palin-ville 12 miles away) and most things like teeth or running water are already optional so it’s an easy transition. Since we are the biggest state in the Union we don’t follow Texas into anything and seeing as how they ALREADY outlawed hetero-marriage you’re going to have to give that one up.
Happy New Year Amanda, when I come back to the City lets have lunch, shots or coffee, OK?
.-= laura´s last blog ..Buche de Noel =-.
You have a SIX car garage? Why? Do you have a car for every day of the week? Oh, but that would be seven, right? But still, six? Your garage is probably way bigger than my house.
I would love to meet up when you’re here. I’ll be the one in the cafe with the giant hump on my back. I know, been meaning to have that removed.
I’m with you. New Year’s eve is totally overblown. I went to bed at 10 to make 2010 arrive that much faster… start smoking.
.-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..And if all else fails… =-.
You are one smart woman. I’m so glad it’s OVER.
I think you should do all of the above, except the stop blogging bit. Happy New Year.
.-= Jimmy´s last blog ..New Year’s Resolutions (for Girls) =-.
Happy New Year to you too Jimmy!
Still not sure about this blogging stuff.
Ice road trucker. Totally.
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..Happy New Year! =-.
Gigantic trucks carrying dangerous flammable cargo and ice always seemed like a good combo to me. Maybe I will give it a shot…
Smoking? No. The dog thing? Um, promising, but no, not really. Stop blogging? Please don’t. I just discovered you. Run the toenail clipping booth at the Marin Country Fair? This one looks the most attainable since I’m guessing you live in Marin County? Put on 50 pounds? Been there. Done that. It’s no fun. Believe me. Become an ice road trucker? Wintertime sucks, imho, so no…yeah, that toenail clipping booth, go with it, embrace your inner child and all that. And oh, have a Happy New Year.
Thanks for stopping by…
And I think I can do the toenail thing if I’m covered head to toe in plastic. And drunk.
I vote for learning Taiwanese as I think it could make for some hilarious blog posts. I know you were kidding but until you wrote this, I hadn’t actually realized Taiwan had a unique language as Mandarin is the official language. I googled it and it is called Hokkien.
.-= Alecia´s last blog ..A Mellow New Years Eve =-.
Well Alecia, my dog is actually from Taiwan so I’ll ask him if he speaks Hokkien…
You are so very helpful and informative!
Resolutions are like being in a bad relationship. They just remind you that your not doing things right! Also I can’t see the choices past learning taiwanese soooo…I can’t really help you there…I think its my dumbass computer still. But I really don’t want you to stop blogging, after all you are one of the chosen that I stalk. Viva 2010!
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Its My Party and I’ll Get Drunk and Cry if I Want To. =-.
Ah thanks. I’ll be stalking you too in 2010…
I usually don’t do the resolution thingy because it just sets me up to fail, but because of your brilliant blog post and truck driving, toenail clipping and weight gain suggestions, I think I’m going to do one – make it a point to actually get my mail once a week from the mailbox. (Seems like such a waste of energy to walk to the box to get it, especially since there is never anything in there that’s great to read.) My goal will be NOT to have it sent back to the post office where I have to wait in line and get a dirty look from the postal clerk because I hate getting the mail on a timely basis. And if you can teach your dog Taiwanese then I figure I can at least pick up my mail and dump it right into the garbage can.
Looking forward to reading all of your 2010 posts!!!
I suggest you walk outside and get that mail. There could be free stuff waiting for you..
Pudding
Coupons for awesome stuff like thread or gum
Deodorant
Children
Ice Trucker. Hands down. Then you could have your own show. Though I think there must a be a Hoarders-type show for those who collect toenail clippings. And get fat on purpose. Now I can’t choose.
.-= lz´s last blog ..2009: A year (almost) of posts =-.
Excellent point LZ – maybe Amanda should smoke while Ice Trucking on her own show… it will curb the appetite and keep her feet in shoes. Just as long as she keeps blogging…
.-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..2009 – A Big Year of ME talking about ME. =-.
Wow. Now you’ve really got me thinking…
What if I was an ice road trucker who transported other people’s toenail clippings?
Hiya Amanda,*
Just popping by to wish you a wonderful 2010 and thank you for reading and supporting my blog over the last year.
All My Hopes, thoughts & wishes, Shane. x
.-= Shane´s last blog ..The Man Who Looks Like Life =-.
Thanks for popping by Shane. I hope you keep blogging, you’re such a wonderful writer.
Happy 2010!
I’m late, but you can always file this bad boy away for 2011…unless the world ends…but I’ll still tell you just in case.
I say it’s super important to keep your goals attainable. You don’t want to pick something crazy ambitious to that then you beat yourself up when you fail. May I suggest “become ruler of the world?” Breezy, right? Flexible hours, good benefits, don’t need much capital for start-up…it’s perfect. Ta fucking dah.
Happy everything!
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Alien Life Forms =-.
If I become ruler of the world can I wear a GIANT pirate hat?
I would think that being ruler of the world would allow you to wear a giant pirate instead of just his or her hat. The real question is whether you could wear a giant ninja.
I’m terrible at choosing New Year’s resolutions, which I just wrote about today.
I also think New Year’s Eve is too much pressure to have fun. Except for going to a couple of concerts, none were memorable. Now that I have kids, we go to First Night in Boston to see ice sculptures, a parade, and fireworks, and then we’re home by 10. That’s as exciting as it gets.
Speaking of Dick Clark, poor Dick Clark.
.-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Resolute without Resolution =-.
At least you get out of the house. I shove the kids in bed, watch tv, then go to bed early.
Dick Clark really needs to retire…
“I’d be a lonely shell of a person who spends her days attempting to concoct a potion to become invisible and reenacting scenes from the movie Harold and Maude with my cats”
Awesome!!!!! For this alone, you should NOT give up blogging as the new years resolution.
You are too kind. Really. I just might rethink giving up…
Did you pick one yet? My vote went to “Put on 50 lbs.” You will have fun while doing that. Then afterwards you can get on The Biggest Loser, and lose 100 lbs. and become all toned and Heidi-Klumy. (I am obsessed with her… don’t mind me). Or you may just win some movie awards. They all win something as soon as they gain weight on purpose. Happy New Year, m’lady!
.-= submom´s last blog ..Chicken and Egg =-.