I originally wrote and published this post in March. (Yes, I’m feeling particularly lazy today, it is Sunday after all. Plus I have the stomach flu, which is good news because I’m hopeful I’ll be able to rid myself of those five pounds I gained over the holidays) I doubt you’ve read this post. Hardly anybody did. It’s about diapers and Pull Ups. If you don’t have kids or you do have kids but they don’t happen to pee or poop you can totally skip this, finish plucking your unibrow or scouring eBay for semi-automatic rifles and come back in a few days for a brand new super awesome post.
My daughter Reese, who is almost four, has been using the toilet with great ease for over a year now. Thank goodness, because I had visions of her heading off to college with a case of Pull Ups shoved in the trunk of her car next to a “hot lesbians of literature” poster and a four foot tall bong. My youngest daughter Sloane has now crossed over the Pull Up threshold. Diapers are a thing of the past. It’s Pull Up time and I’m so not looking forward to it. Here is my recycled post…
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I firmly believe that diapers and Pull Ups should not be decorated with pretty princesses, cute cars or happy puppies. They should be emblazoned with screaming fiery demons at the gates of Hell and scary one eyed clowns. Maybe even come with some sort of horrific aroma like rotting flesh or skunk. I think that way the kids will learn to use the toilet pretty quickly.
My daughter loves these Pull Ups more than chocolate chip cookies. Or oxygen. She’s had a hard time letting them go. She learned to use the toilet to pee about 2 months ago. It was a difficult battle because even after we took away the Pull Ups she would refuse to go to the bathroom and hold it in all day until her bladder was about to explode. She finally gave in.
34 Comments
I finally figured out what is wrong when I visit your site, its Internet Explorer. I will view you in firefox. Now aren’t you glad I’ve worked out my issues here. Anyway…poop on the living room floor was exactly my thought…for your sake I do hope I am wrong.
SO glad you worked it out. I’m thinking of ditching this theme because it’s a bit glitchy.
I’m so trying french rap music next time I’m…uh…stuck.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Alien Life Forms =-.
You are gross.
But I love it.
I couldn’t agree more. I hate pull-ups and I mean HATE them. I refuse to buy any that have cute designs or favorite cartoon characters on them (although I used to). I buy the generic-looking ones with Dragontales characters on them. They’re cheap and while my kids do like Dragontales, they don’t like them THAT much.
I hope you get over the stomach flu quickly. My oh my that is NO fun!
I’m going for the Whole Foods brand ones now. I think they have a picture of an organic rutabaga on them. What kids likes rutabagas?
Oo, I was leaning more towards poop strown across the walls. You know, primate style … because supposedly we come from monkeys, right?
Good luck! I’ve not even produced my child yet and am already fearful of the pull ups. Thanks for that
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..What I See When I look down =-.
All I can say is good luck.
So very cool- My Oldest daughter was to be named Sloan and I changed it at the last minute to Olivia – that was a long time ago and your girl is the first ever I have heard of….Lovley and so glad a cool girlie like you took that marvy name:) Still love it. As far as pull ups- they suck. Hated them -came apart easily when you didn’t want them to and when the kid pooped they were impossible to rip open…nice.
)
So sorry bout flu- my entire family went down one by one to that one….it passes quicky. Thank goodness.
Happy new week- kids go back to school- woot woot.
Oh you’re so lucky you have kids in school! I CAN’T WAIT for that. I now call my daughter Sloane the scone or Sloaney baloney. Maybe I should have named her Olivia to spare the poor child. You have a cat named Kiwi too, right?
We’re just too cool.
We are the coolest. Kiwi, Sloan-too hip to believe. Olivia gets Livvie Loo, Lolli, Ollie B and the dreaded Olive Oil all through the delightful middle school years. I told her today about your little Sloan and she siad she wished I named her that.
I do too. But she is and will always be Olivia.
Ok I don’t have kids other than the foru-legged variety, and still this made me laught at loud — both with you and yes I think at you as you have to put up with this madness! I especially love that your daughter’s poop time music is French rap; not sure how or why, and do think it is strangely appropriate!!
.-= Brahm´s last blog ..Oh Crap, I Already Broke My New Year’s Resolutions! =-.
Originally the characters on diapers were meant to keep the kids from doing ‘the primate thing’ on walls.
Tabbed, velcro, I even did a laundry service that used nylon overcovers between my four.
Congrats on freedom. Next phase ‘postman’ games.
.-= John´s last blog ..Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-03 =-.
Frilliant. (That’s Fucking + Brilliant, saves space and is SFW/kids, for future reference.) You’d make millions with the foul-odored pull-ups. Wish they made those in a size suitable for my bedwetter. He will be going off to college with a trunkload of those bad boys. Of course, they’ll be Depends by that point, having outgrown the Pull-Ups tiny butt sizes. This also presumes he’ll be getting into college or wanting to go. Either way, he’ll be departing this house. So, there’ll be a trunkload of something going somewhere.
.-= califmom´s last blog ..2 Live Crew, Meet The Tea Ass and Coffee Burro =-.
I fought the same battle over the Pull Ups. My kid loved them.
.-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..Review: It’s In The Eyes =-.
You mean, we’re meant to stop wearing these at some point? Amanda, why is it I don’t learn these things except on your blog? No one TOLD me.
I feel for you sister. The whole potty training thing was the bane of my existence — and I had to do it four times!
French rap music? I learn something new on your blog every day. Glad to be back from my break.
Girl, I had such a love-hate realtionship with those damn Pulll-Ups.Loved them in the car since I knew we wouldn’t have an accident, but then it came time to do the business on his own, he wanted the safety net of the damn Pull-Ups! I feel your pain!!!
Ha! This is too funny. I agree about the pull-ups! I have just given up on them too as my daughter regressed pretty badly when I recently had my twins. But who am I kidding….she is wearing one right now as she sleeps! Well, we’ll see how it goes! There’s just too much damn poo to be changed around here….something’s gotta give!
.-= Krissi´s last blog ..Experience Avatar! =-.
Love, love your girls names. Sloane was on my girl list. I hear you about Pull Ups. My daughter never got that if the stars disappeared or she got cold it was too late. She just wanted to wear the Princesses. Thank goodness that’s over.
well. i guess it’s a good thing the diapers don’t come with surround sound – with the option of french music. that’d be some heavy booty shaking.
.-= wendiwinn´s last blog ..knucklehead is not a nice word. klingons sort of look like they have knuckles on their heads. hey. i said sort of. =-.
As long as she doesn’t try pooping in the plants – like our cats – be thankful.
Wait..since this was a previous post…re-posted…has she learned poo = toilet? If so, YAY! Wait…I’m so confused.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Courtyard Surprise =-.
If you ever disappear, the cops are totally going to question me because I stalk you and even give you meaningless awards on my blog. http://bugginword.com/2010/01/05/suck-it-sally-field/
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Suck It, Sally Field =-.
Pull ups? Wow, you’re one of those I-like-to-spoil-my-kids moms, aren’t you?
Me? I just staple dishrags to my kids and then hose ‘em down when they’re soiled – the dishrags I mean,,,,,I don’t bother cleaning the kids.
Actually, I have a ton of leftover pull-ups from when I was potty training my son. My daughter is about that age (about to turn two) so I’m just really happy she likes Diego. Actually, I couldn’t care less – she’ll wear them and LIKE them, dammit (maybe it’ll make her train faster)
.-= Lagunatic´s last blog ..I thought this kind of thing only happened in Ancient Greece. =-.
My daughter is potty trained but still wears pull-ups at night. Every once in a while, we try going commando at night, but it never works out and I just end up having to wash her sheets. But we have sworn that after this bag of pull-ups is done, no more. I guess that was one advantage to having my son potty train at 4 – missed the pull-ups stage entirely.
.-= Mountain Momma´s last blog ..Cleared for take-off, but not the bathroom =-.
I had dreamed about going to the Sloan School of Management… I didn’t know of the name Sloane until now. And it is such a neat name! Good thing I don’t have any girl otherwise I’d be having buyer’s remorse now. Congratulations on getting rid of the Pull Ups altogether. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. One child went through the phase where he would change into Pull Ups and went to the corner to “wait for his business”. Although I am with you in Pull Up hate (such a “crutch”!) I’ve had one child peeing and pooping in the middle of a store at the mall… I actually missed Pull Up that day.
I want to say I am sorry for your Stomach flu. Yet deep down I am jealous of the potential weight loss.
.-= submom´s last blog ..Chicken and Egg =-.
My 2 and a half year old brilliant genius grandbaby wears her princess pull-ups with princess panties on top of them, and informs us immediately AFTER the fact that we need to change her. “It’s uncomfortable.” Something is wrong with this picture. haha
I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?
You are hysterical! I couldn’t agree with you more that diapers should not be so appealing to children! Good luck getting over the poop hurdle. French rap music?…sounds interesting! ha!!
Love and hugs,
Karyn
I think everyone needs a little French Rap music in their lives. Even when they’re pooping.
I simply wanted to add a comment here to say thanks for you very nice ideas. Blogs are troublesome to run and time consuming therefore I appreciate when I see well written material. Your time isn’t going to waste with your posts. Thanks so much and carry on You’ll defintely reach your goals! have a great day!
Did I have to re-subscribe or something? You’re not showing up in my reader anymore…
Kelly
.-= kelly@TearingUpHouse´s last blog ..Do You Ever Have One Of Those Days? =-.
Hilarious and very true post. I’ve always thought that Pull Ups are the biggest potty training conspiracy out there. Kids love them so much they never want to quit wearing them. How are they supposed to help our kids use the toilet when they just make them feel all grown up with full license to still crap all over themselves? I just don’t get it. PS Pooping and French rap music. Gotta love it.
You’re too funny!
“Full license to crap all over themselves”
So true.