It’s Wednesday. The day after Tuesday. FYI: Tomorrow is Thursday.
It rained today. I worked. I ate five oatmeal cranberry chocolate chunk cookies I had baked the day before. That would be Tuesday.
I discovered my neighbor likes to wear long black dresses. He’s a dude and he and his wife have matching outfits. I assume they’re Goth. Or hiding a terrible skin condition of some sort. Which can only be remedied by donning a dress that looks like a Hefty bag. I’ve recently noticed a rash of couples dressing alike. Same hats, same yellow ski parkas, same sneakers. I’m sorry, but it would be just a tad unsettling for my husband to wake up and say “Hey Manda (you can call me Manda if you’re lazy and don’t feel like pronouncing the A) should we wear our matching skinny jeans and Prada knee high boots today? And a sweater. We need a sweater. Oooh, this will work. Black form fitting cashmere!”
No thanks. I would rather have him eat sardines and hard boiled eggs then poop on the living room rug every day. Forever. Or at least until I file for divorce.
Isn’t Wednesday Prince Spaghetti Day? Not in my house. We went to Costco last week and stocked up on a few things, so today is tuna fish shoved into a pita day. In fact the last four days have been tuna fish shoved into any sort of bread you can dig out of the pantry day. I know, I live like a rock star.
Wednesday is also pick your dog up from the orthopedic surgeon’s office and drain your bank account day.
I think it’s also can I give my children back to the stork day because they drive me fucking nuts.
And those daffodils? I bought them last Wednesday. They have survived several attempts by my ferocious herbivore cat to hunt and devour them.
I think I might just skip Wednesday next week.
In honor of my slightly “off” mood (did I mention it’s been raining for the past three days?) here are a couple of little ditties that are exceeding gloomy. Gosh I love gloomy.
37 Comments
I dig your music selections – I’m a gloomy sort of gal though. And that is totally gross about the matching outfits. I would completely lose respect for my husband if he even suggested something like that. Fortunately, I’m fairly certain he’d shoot himself first so we’re good.
Oh good, a fellow gloomster!
Hello Darling-Yes the gloom is overwhelming these days in our part of the planet pie. I hate it. I also am with you on the kids, and mine were in school part of the day. Poor You is all I can say. Found myself gritting my teeth talking to 8 year old like Clint Eastwood. She smirked. She won.
Match my Husband…eh I don’t think so although I did try to get him to color coordinate with me and our motorcycle. I realize that was freakish now and vowed never to do that again.
Love to you Funny Manda. I am lazy.
I just wish this rain would STOP! Glad you rethought your matchy match outfits. That is never a good look.
I am so glad that today is Thursday! Whew! Hump-Gloom sucks.
So it’s Thursday but for some reason, the stork droppings don’t realize that Wednesday is over and they are still acting up.
Who should I send the complaint letter to?
It’s almost Friday, yay! And my stork droppings? They are now heavily medicated.
wow. Your commenters are funnier than my blog posts, which I slave over for hours concocting riotously funny little observations on life. Now I’m gloomy too. And it’s not even raining here. Thanks Manda.
My commenters are NUTS. And on heavy doses of illegal Mexican medications…..
And I bet they don’t have a bright orange laptop like you. Or was is yellow?
Oh Manda, I’ll take your tuna shoved into a pita any day.
Ry Sal ´s last blog ..Will’s Kitchen
That’s so lovely Ryan…
What IS IT with the gloom these days?! It’s like oozing in through the tub drain, right?
It’s almost enough to take the fun out of imagining my husband wearing green cowboy boots with a black minidress. Almost.
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Anonymity Sucks
Sorry Elly. A girl needs a little gloom once in a awhile. I promise my next post be about cute kittens, rainbows and dancing unicorns.
You know how you could cheer me up? Send a photo of your husband in the cowboy boots and minidress.
You had me LOL at Hefty bag dresses. Matching too. Burlap sacks. I can see wearing matching burlap sacks. I love Weirdo Wednesday. But I am glad it’s Thursday already. So much closer to Friday. Today is Thursday… Thursday – Roast beef… (Have you heard of this song?)
submom´s last blog ..Wanker Wednesday: My problems with “The Help”
I have left a box of Hefty bags and a case of condoms on their doorstep. Don’t want the Hefty family procreating now.
I just Googled that roast beef song.Very strange and confusing. I always knew you were an odd one.
How can you be gloomy when you have neighbors in matching yellow parkas? Yellow is such a happy color!
(Except when Coldplay is singing about it. I hate Coldplay. That fingertape creeps me out.)
Ri, Music Savvy Mom´s last blog ..Why am I not Icelandic?
Thank you! What is with that tape? And the Sgt. Pepper outfits????
So, I would just like my neighbor to wear something, is raining and low 40’s, heard loud noise, glanced out window, 300lb man in towel….did I mention that aside from height and girth he is deadringer for Bigfoot? One hairy friggin man!! Wow, way to jack a girls Thursday all up! Thank god his oh so lovely woman thing isn’t wearing the matching towel.
Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wicked Girls…Yes, We Are Human Too
Oh my gosh. A 300 pound hairy man in a towel doesn’t turn you on? What is wrong with you woman?
Excuse me while I reach for my vibrator now.
Oh Manda Panda…turn that frown upside down…
Feel free to tell me to go fuck myself, because that made me want to slap my self accross the face.
That’s okay. I was called Manda Panda as a kid. Manda Bo Danda was another one.
My mom also affectionately called me Poopy Pants. Still does.
I wish I could spell.
Tuna shoved into pitta sounds a darn sight better than what I just had, which was dry, slightly uncooked veggie burgers with wet, oily, overcooked chips. Oh yuk. What a waste of calories that was. I had to make up for it with two whacking chocolate biscuits the size of truck wheels. Oh yum. By the way, as it was Wednesday yesterday, I did try to pick my dog up from the orthopaedic surgeon’s office, just as you say. They were puzzled, for good reason.
Fran´s last blog ..Evidence that spelling really does mater
Oh Fran you just made me gag. Really. Ugh.
Your poor imaginary dog….
Tuna week! nice
Next week is falafel week.
You own Prada knee high boots? I’ve so lost my respect.
But thanks for straightening out those days for me. I always get ‘em confused.
Zen Mom´s last blog ..It Doesn’t Get Much Better Than This
I WISH I owned Prada knee high boots. But I feel that $2700 would be better used going into my kids college fund.
Or maybe I’ll just go and buy some vodka.
Joy Division and daffodils, that’s what it’s all about.
Mark Kerstetter´s last blog ..Guest Blogger: Fran Hill
Finally.
Someone who can appreciate Joy Division AND daffodils. It’s usually Air Supply and daffodils. Not a good combo.
Wednesday also meant another brilliant blogpost was posted – and I almost missed it!!! Huff!!! With the first page never being renewed but just being updated my feed doesn’t get it. Disturbing… Alsough the feed doesn’t get it regardless of weekday it seems.
Ann-Katrin´s last blog ..Easier to get to work…
Glad you made your way over! Ever since I switched to WordPress my feeds have been all screwy. Try unsubscribing and then re-subscribe. I think that might work…
Those flowers are resilient, holding up very well after a week. I can’t imagine your neighbors, wait a minute…I do stuff like that!
I love daffodils – remind me of spring.
You mean you and your husband wear matching Hefty bags too? Intriguing. Please take some photos.
Oh yes, I can’t do without a little gloom, he says, sat at his desk with his Sisters of Mercy reissues close to hand. There are one or two non-black items in my wardrobe but they tend to be grey. No dresses, though. Not even a smock.
Dad Who Writes´s last blog ..The ‘F’ word
Oh excellent gloomy music pick…
Glad to hear you don’t wear dresses. That would totally ruin it for me.
I added you to my reader so I won’t miss the kittens & unicorns post. Don’t let me down. I’ve been dragging all week…
KeepingYouAwake´s last blog ..OMFG MAH NEW FONE ROCKZ!
Well I ‘m happy to say I do indeed have a new post on kittens! Yay!
My cat Kiwi is not technically still a kitten. She’s 5. Or 12. One looses track. Does that count?