Yes, yes I realize it’s Tuesday but I’ll be quite busy tomorrow so I’m writing this from the future.
The photo above? Has nothing to do with this post, it was taken by my two year old. She’s currently enrolled in the gifted child photographers class at Stanford.
I haven’t been posting as often as I’d like because I’ve been so incredibly busy and tired lately. Bedtime has been 9:30pm. Between my handcrafted ham bone puppets selling out on QVC and my daily nine hour tantric sex sessions with Sting there has been little time for writing. For the record, I do not find Sting sexy AT ALL, I do it for my husband. He likes to watch. Is that weird?
So please, dear readers, help me pick my next blog post. I have a few suggestions below, but feel free to come up with your own, very unique ideas. I will pick one and post it whenever I can muster the strength and clean up all of these condom wrappers off the kitchen floor.
Blog post ideas
Kids named Squimpy
Why I just might leave the country, buy a castle, grow pot and raise chickens
My life story (you so do not want to read that crap)
The health benefits of drinking Hello Kitty wine (there is such a thing, Google it)
Most tubes of lip gloss have fish scales in them, did you know that? Not exactly a great topic but interesting and stomach churning at the same time. I discovered this after spending an entire dollar on a tube of lip gloss at Target. Turns out it made my lips numb and tasted like brussels sprouts.
Grandma Eva’s secret recipe for panda meat-sicles
Pros and cons of breastfeeding your child until they’re eight
I’m going to leave you with the video below. Enjoy. You can thank me later…
15 Comments
holy. shit. And I thought it was weird that an acquaintance was breastfeeding her 3 year old. There’s probably a few health benefits but, seriously, for their social health, you have to stop at some point before they go to school. I’m serious. It’s not just a “oh that’s gross and weird” thing with me, it’s a “don’t make a socially maladjusted kid” thing. Sometimes I think people do things just to be “that person who does that thing”.
Going to buy Hello Kitty wine as soon as I’m done commenting. How can anyone resist that?
Yeah, number 2, yep. Want to leave. Too bad I have so much damn family here.
And, ALL NATURAL LIP BALM IS THE SHIZ, check the Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35835596 (there’s soy too if you’re into that).
.-= Beth in SF´s last blog ..Another Parenting First =-.
This video is like a weird guilty pleasure for me. I like to put on a British accent and say “I’d rather have lots of breast milk than a million melons!”, at random. So few people get it. Or me. Sadzies.
I’m going with “Why I just might leave the country, buy a castle, grow pot and raise chickens” in the hopes that you’ll take me with you.
I love that vid. Makes my boobs get all creamy like.
.-= Lagunatic´s last blog ..How to get a bikini body by summer. =-.
Well, let us examine this. You know I love the name Squimpy and think it would sweep the nation as the next transgender name. I, well, OMJ, you have no idea how badly I will envy you if you take off to a castle, raise pot and grow chickens……
Life stories tend to make me sad..
I love wine, then I would want to destroy the bottle, as all things Hello Kitty anger me…….
Did you get your money back and drool at the counter on them???
Panda meat-sicles?? Enticing………..
That.Bitch.Freaks.Me.Straight.Out.
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..My Most Precious History, Please, I Hardly Think So =-.
Can you manage to cut your life story down to just one paragraph? …… I’m very old and haven’t got that much time left ……
.-= Daddy Papersurfer´s last blog ..WHAT THE DICKENS =-.
That lady is going to need a longer sofa.
.-= Fran´s last blog ..Twelve things I have never said =-.
Oh… Huh…. Yeah. I’m all for breast is best and did it myself for the 8 months. AND I’d like to think I was you know, cool and stuff with a “each to their own” attidtude… But dang. yeah. It seems to me when it gets like that it’s more for the mother than the child. Weiiird. ALSO. Ahahahah on Fran’s comment.
As far as subject goes? All of the above? I’m interested in hearing about all of them! Except you’re right about not wanting to hear your life story.
jooooking.
.-= Eve´s last blog ..What do you get when you cross a Strawberry and a Pineapple? =-.
I’m assuming your questions where rhetorical because I am having a really hard time picking my jaw off the floor after watching that video. Did that really just happen? Now you’re the one giving me nightmares. She plans on doing it until they go to college? I…
Fuck, man – that’s just plain weird.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I vote for tantric sex with sting wasn’t that an option?
.-= laura´s last blog ..Dear Jamie Oliver, =-.
They are free to float about…I call shenanigans. I am quite sure those things are NOT floating about. And I am also quite sure her nipples are giant good and plenties.
Hello Kitty wine with a side of Panda meat slices, please. And I do believe that is the la leche league armada knocking at your door… time to release that closet ninja. Be strong.
.-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..Big Kahuna Burger =-.
You know, I’d be up for panda meat. I’m neutral about breast feeding at eight but I do wonder who its for.
Hello Kitty wine. No.
.-= Dad Who Writes´s last blog ..“Randy Described Eternity” =-.
So I guess now is not the time to pull out that story about how I breastfed that starving thirty year old guy on the bus and saved his life huh?
.-= kelly´s last blog ..Pre Cana Insane =-.
I don’t even know what to say about that video, I actually couldn’t even finish watching it. Once kids can ask for the boob, that’s most definitely when they should be cut off, in my book.
So what if being breast-fed for 8 years gives the child a high IQ? It also turns them into a freaky dork.
.-= Mountain Momma´s last blog ..Multi-tasking Redefined =-.
It’s always ok when you’re on the inside looking out. Until the “I was raised in a cult” books are written.