Yesterday I went out for a stroll with my cat Truffle. We were enjoying the beautiful sunny day. I was listening to my Nigerian language tapes and she was driving her sparkly purple Barbie Corvette. We came upon this sign. She and I looked at each … Read More →
Category Archives: Daily Life
Kitchen Nightmares
Sweet kitchen, huh? Tomorrow I will be washing my pots and pans in the bathtub and eating my microwaveable cheddar flavored chicken flavored tofu flavored lamb on a stick off of paper plates. Jealous? We are renovating our kitchen. Ourselves. Well, I’m really no help. My … Read More →
Getting To Know Me
Contrary to what you’ve been reading in all the gossip magazines for the past few weeks, I have not run off with Billy Ray Cyrus to start a cult. Nonsense. Pure nonsense. However, I have been in contact with the great actor, Steven Seagal. He’s … Read More →
Who Wants Some Free Stuff?
Yes, you’re in the right place! Free stuff. Right here… But I’m sorry to disappoint. I’m not giving away the sexy underwear. Nor am I offering up the contents of the sexy underwear. I really just love gazing at that photo. Those London mannequins have … Read More →
Don’t Feel Sorry For The Handicapped Dragons
I was all set to write a witty post about underarm hair and iPhones but I got sidetracked. How was I to know that two year olds get really pissed off when you sit them in front of the TV and make them watch an … Read More →
Is It Friday Already?
Friday? Really? Where the heck did the week go? It’s only 8:30 am and I’ve been up for a few hours. My maid, nanny, sexy man-servant who resembles that totally hot blond guy on American Idol, window washer, chef, chauffeur, dog groomer, decorator, blog writer … Read More →
I Think I Just Saved $280,000
A kitchen remodel is in the works. Sort of. We’ve lived in this house for over two years and haven’t done anything to our early 90′s style white kitchen that I loathe more than the Bible. And blood sausage. However, before we moved in we … Read More →
George Clooney Is My New Boyfriend And I Have PMS
It was one of THOSE weeks. Oh you know the kind… The kind of week in which you throw a magic marker at your husband. It missed. For the record he totally deserved it. The kind of week in which you go to drop off … Read More →
Love Is In The Air
At the moment everyone in my house is sick. Even me. My youngest has a double ear infection. I think it would be accurate to compare it to a double Whopper. But hold the meat. And the special sauce. I used to roll my eyes … Read More →
Weirdo Wednesday
These are my kids. They are not weirdos. It’s me. I’m the weirdo. See the way I dress them? In mismatched colors and outrageous patterns. That’s why Daughter #1 looks so sad. And Daughter #2? Poor Daughter #2 won’t even show her face to the … Read More →
Kiwi Likes Head
I know what you’re thinking. Another crazy cat lady blogger. “Look at my cat, isn’t she absolutely adorable? I dress her in bonnets and sprinkle glitter on her so when the sunlight hits her she becomes angelic. And we love to eat tacos together.” No. … Read More →
Basket Case
Yes, I’ve been ignoring the world. I haven’t been posting anything here, there or anywhere. I haven’t been reading your blogs. I’ve been avoiding phone calls, emails, and the litter box. There is a pair of Elmo underwear lying on my dining room table (my … Read More →