For the past few days I’ve been trying to come up with a witty and thought provoking post to share with you. I’ve got nothing. Zero. Zip. So I thought it best to step away from my computer and spend some quality time with my … Read More →
Category Archives: Gobbbledygook
An Open Letter To My Cat
Dear Kiwi, I know you will read this because tomorrow morning I’ll wake up to find cigarette ashes and stale remnants of your “Happy Kitty Fishy Treats” on the keyboard of my computer. And thanks to you, my blog will have a few nasty comments … Read More →
Advertise HERE
I had a company solicit me to advertise on this super fabulous site not long ago. I happily obliged and our business together lasted exactly one month. I followed up with a note regarding the next month and they never returned my email. Guess not … Read More →
Dude. It's Called City Living
Ah, city living. It’s utterly fantastic if you like culture, great food, loud noises at all hours of the night, putrid smells and people who park in front of your driveway. I was in a hurry the other morning and have the rare luxury of … Read More →
Grumpy? Yes, I Apologize In Advance
WELCOME TO MY MOMMY BLOG. I HOPE YOUR BUNNY RABBIT DREAMS AND STRAWBERRY COTTON CANDY WISHES COME TRUE. HAVE A SUPER DUPER DAY! Oh, and please don’t forget to enter my free giveaway. Here’s your chance to win a pair of slightly used latex gloves … Read More →
I Wish…
I wish I had a penis for just one day to see what all the hoopla was about. I’m sure they’re totally overrated I wish I could eat bacon and drink champagne all day, every day. And not get sick, fat and drunk I wish … Read More →
Why I'm No Good At Social Networking
BrilliantSulk Have I mentioned before that as a child my parents kept me in a tiny box like a veal? Well they did, and now as an adult I’m socially challenged. So lately I’ve been testing out the waters over at Twitter. I have not … Read More →
I'm Sitting Here In My Undies, Why?
I JUST returned the dress I rented for yesterday’s big blog award ceremony because Al & Hasim’s House Of Frilly Frocks charges an extra $2.00 for any gown returned late. Plus I spilled salsa and beer on it. That’s an extra 50 cents. I woke … Read More →
It's Award Season And I Don't Have A Thing To Wear
Apparently I’m kreativ with a “k” and have one lovely blog. Many thanks to Fran over at her very racy XXX porn site Being Miss and she who prefers to remain nameless over at The Wannabe WAHM, who is ALWAYS drunk (oh, I’m kidding you … Read More →
I Present My OTHER Blog…
I know. Who has two blogs? I do. As if I weren’t busy enough. There are the dozens of charities I head, and my staff of maids must be constantly monitored to ensure there is no stealing. I also “oversee” the tall Spanish hunk while … Read More →
Overheard at Whole Foods This Morning
I was standing in the yogurt aisle this morning trying to decide which delightfully delicious flavor I would have for breakfast. Note to the fine yogurt makers out there: TOO many choices. Whatever happened to plain? Was I in the mood for pumpkin caramel spice? … Read More →

Was I Popular In High School? Uh, No
I still wake up some mornings in a cold sweat having just dreamt about it. High school. Ugh. I loathed it, despised it. The worst few years of my life. I had a hard time meeting new people. I listened to Joy Division. I was … Read More →