Friday? Really? Where the heck did the week go? It’s only 8:30 am and I’ve been up for a few hours. My maid, nanny, sexy man-servant who resembles that totally hot blond guy on American Idol, window washer, chef, chauffeur, dog groomer, decorator, blog writer … Read More →
Tag Archives: Little People
Weirdo Wednesday
These are my kids. They are not weirdos. It’s me. I’m the weirdo. See the way I dress them? In mismatched colors and outrageous patterns. That’s why Daughter #1 looks so sad. And Daughter #2? Poor Daughter #2 won’t even show her face to the … Read More →
Kiwi Likes Head
I know what you’re thinking. Another crazy cat lady blogger. “Look at my cat, isn’t she absolutely adorable? I dress her in bonnets and sprinkle glitter on her so when the sunlight hits her she becomes angelic. And we love to eat tacos together.” No. … Read More →
The Worst Invention Ever. Trust Me
I originally wrote and published this post in March. (Yes, I’m feeling particularly lazy today, it is Sunday after all. Plus I have the stomach flu, which is good news because I’m hopeful I’ll be able to rid myself of those five pounds I gained … Read More →
As If My Kids Aren't Screwed Up Enough
I’m a tired person and to prove it, today I actually put lip gloss on the dark circles under my eyes instead of concealer. Maybe I’m a trendsetter, but I didn’t look so hot. Most days I feel like the walking dead because I’m one … Read More →
Shattered Dreams
She looks absolutely thrilled doesn’t she? I had just informed Reese that she could not bring her Hello Kitty cotton candy scented liquid hand soap to the park with us. She adores washing her hands during every waking moment. I also told her that Santa … Read More →
Blogging. Oh Why Do I Bother?
Today I woke up in a bit of an icky mood. Aside from the fact that I rose at 5:30 (not willingly) my freshly bathed dog rolled in crap and two giant zits had sprung up like weeds on my face sometime during the night. … Read More →
I'm On Vacation. I Think
Oh yes, I am sure you really really want to see a picture of my kid as I normally don’t enjoy other people’s children too much (your kids are wonderful though) so I can sympathize. Some are loud, some often have slimy and unpleasant discharge … Read More →
San Francisco to New York
I am packing my bags as I type this. I really am. One hand on the keyboard of my beloved Mac and the other hand with a fist full of undies. How many pairs to bring? That, my friends is the least of my worries. … Read More →
Things I Have Sacrificed For My Kids
Slepp. I mean sleep. Will I ever catch up? My body. Boobs hanging slightly lower these days and my abs of steel are totally gone. Okay, to be fair I never had abs of steel, but if I had them they are so gone I’ve … Read More →
Don’t Feel Sorry For The Handicapped Dragons
I was all set to write a witty post about underarm hair and iPhones but I got sidetracked. How was I to know that two year olds get really pissed off when you sit them in front of the TV and make them watch an … Read More →